She sits, as I would, uninterested.
When she is not careful,
Peals of laughter escape her,
Her eyes become bright,
And her teeth shine the color of milk.
She stares, as I would, ahead.
When she is sleeping,
Her eyes dance the tango,
Those lips of silk rest slightly parted,
And her fingers curl in sync with her dream.
She cries, as I would, shamefully.
When she is sobbing,
Heaves of emotion pour from her,
Her arms hug each other,
And she curls into herself.
She loves, as I would, freely.
When in the throes,
Damp hair clings to her neck,
Her chant reaches God Banaitja,
And she rests on air.
She fights, as I would, valiantly.
When thrusting her sword,
Emphasis of honesty rings from the tower,
Her body bears bruises,
And she nearly faints from exhaustion.
She pretends, as I would, carefully.
When lying to herself,
Lines are drawn, plan are made,
Her heart begins to withdraw,
And her moat is built.
She is, as I am, Me.
Comments
I like so many lines in this. i think it warrants revision, but I can't critique anything in Vox format. I like "her teeth shine, color of milk." I'd take out that extraneou "the." I like the lines of "her eyes dance the tango" etc. Very sensual! The last two stanzas are the weakest in the poem. Thanks for sharing this good piece.
Lucy